How To Get A Date: Smart Tips for Smart ladies!

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The “love” writing is something I am learning to spread my wings around, I love to read cosmopolitan funny love stories and love advice, also any magazine that just brings light to the topic of love but love tips are so tricky, works for some but not all. Is it ok if I put it out there that I’m single, in my twenties and searching? I know it’s a women’s read mostly but ladies if you have any friends who you think might be interested, well finding me isn’t really hard since you’re reading my article.

I’m so serious with that shameless self marketing I just did! Wow! but was that too much putting myself out there like that even in my article, or is that allowed? But, how else can a single lady get a date , if she’s not using whatever platform she’s got to promote herself. Ok, I agree maybe not in the manner of, “Oh, I’m looking for a date or a boyfriend or a husband material” may be in perhaps a more subtle way like asking your girlfriends or your sister to organize a date party for you where each of your lady friends bring a single friend to the mix. Ok, obviously if you’re having a mixer to get a date, that has got to be the least subtle approach.

If announcing my relationship status and need on my platform is too loud, and if organizing a mixer to find a date isn’t the most subtle approach, what other ways can we find a date, or someone we can establish a long-term relationship with if that’s what you’re searching for. It might sound easy but finding a date isn’t as easy though. Then again, who’s to say those forms aren’t appropriate to finding a date?

So let’s review other smart and hot ways we can find a date:


One thing I am a big advocate of is making conscious effort to change environment and get a feel for a different atmosphere. You don’t have to be a nomad, or have a job that is a traveling job, but you can simply try to take time even if its during your weekend to just get away from your normal routine environment to experience something new and different in a new atmosphere. And it’s very possible that your location could be the barrier to finding a good date, so when you travel outside of where you live, you get to see some fresh faces, make new connections and run across individuals whom trust me, will appreciate your beauty more better than guys in your stale neighborhood.

Conscious Positioning:

In marketing, companies spend billions to strategize how their products will be positioned on the shelf in the store. That is one of the big ways they they market their products, there is a logic and a reasoning to how  they place products, so that it can attract the kind of customers they want. I think same strategy could be applied to us ladies. Getting clear on the kind of guy we are seeking, and then consciously positioning ourselves to where we can easily meet such person. This is a new theory I just am learning to apply, I think if we are conscious about where we go, where we hang around out, if we notice the kind of people we meet at those places, if it’s not what meets out needs or desires -by just being conscious enough to notice that, we can change it. Try to purposely place ourselves in places or locations we would love to meet the people or someone we so desire.

Intellectual Arenas:

One of the biggest things I heard that turns a guy on is having a conversation with a smart woman. A smart guy will know that getting a girl is beyond just the outer appearance and more about intellectual capacity. One of the things we as women tend to a lot is downplay our intellectual capacity to fit with a guy, but if we have to do that then we don’t need to be with that person. Confidence is so sexy, a woman that can hold an intellectual conversation, a woman that is embraces who she is translates a powerful message which guys can find very intimidating, so what’s the key here? You want to meet a smart guy who you won’t have to lower your IQ for and whom you won’t have to play less confident too, you have to locate yourself in intellectual arenas. Conferences, seminars and trainings versus bars and nightclubs or strip clubs, also vacation spots, singles cruises versus creepy stalker guy off of facebook, or graduate programs, adult educational courses, or self improvement programs versus sitting at home and watching TV.

Creative Adventures:

How classy to walk into a museum, gallery, pottery class, art class or some sort of exhibition…and give yourself the gift of truly living. Take yourself on dates like that to creative, inspirational and beautiful places, these places don’t even cost a ton, just that sometimes we are used to living in a box and I could be very well be guilty of that as well. But that’s one of the things I am learning to start trying. One thing I know for a fact is that if you are living life as enthusiastic and excited as you can, you’re able to enter classy restaurants by yourself with no shame, you’re able to try different food on the menu and have it all laid out, take pictures of it and just enjoy that moment, you’re able to explore visiting places, history sites, going hiking, mountain climbing, skiing and other adventures every chance you can afford-in those moments where you are just occupied with living your life to its fullest and the best, where you’re truly enjoying being single and not panicked or frustrated or replacing being single with loneliness- those are the times where your chances of meeting someone special is heightened, and I can imagine who that guy will be as well. A guy who is high on life and not afraid to live- someone who is sure of himself and exploring life just as you are, what a perfect match that would be. Spend money on actually living and stop dashing it out to match makers or online sites. Go out, be creative, explore, live and conquer- come back home with a date! You have my blessings! I will be doing the same as well with every chance I can afford!

What other ways can you think of to find a date?

Written by

Adedayo Fashanu

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